Jim Goings

I’m interested in FIOS. How could I not be? 15MBps up and down is insanely attractive. I jumped onto the FIOS website and tried to find the number to call an agent as I had several questions about Internet, Phone, and TV service through Verizon. I couldn’t find the number, so I took the “chat with a live person” option and what fun I had!

We are routing you to a chat representative. Thank you for contacting Verizon FiOS. Your average wait time is 2 seconds.

You are now chatting with ‘Jacob’
you: how can I contact verizon to order FIOS?
Jacob: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service. How can I help you experience the cutting-edge technology of FiOS?

you: how can I contact verizon to order FIOS?
Jacob: Have you checked the availability for Verizon FiOS Services at your number/location?

you: yes
Jacob: Could you tell me which plans and prices are showing as available to you after
you check the availability?

you: there’s a giant verizon fios box in my front yard… pretty sure I can get it.
you: It showed Internet and TV
you: I am interested in Internet, TV, and possibly voice
Jacob: Are you looking for Internet and TV and phone service?

you: as I just said.
you: is there a phone number I can call to order?
Jacob: Than I would suggest you to go with our bundle service.
Jacob: Would you like to go with our bundle service?

you: maybe. depends on price, number of HD channels, DVR costs, etc.
Jacob: “Good place to start would be the link I am providing you.”

you: is there a phone number I can call to order?
Jacob: Please click here.
Jacob: I can help you with only online.

you: I can’t call someone?
Jacob: Please proceed with the link and let me know if you have any questions.

you: It is frustrating to have my question repeatedly ignored.
you: is there a phone number I can call?
Jacob: Let me send you a link to check the number of your local verizon office.

you: really? there’s no sales line?
Jacob: Please click here to get local verizon office number.
Jacob: I can help you with only online order service.

you: are you saying that there isn’t a number I can call or that you are refusing to give it to me?
you: Ordering over chat would be painfully slow – as this conversation has already been revealed to be.
you: Oh thank God – I found the number 1-888-GET-FIOS
you: you could have told me that bro.
Jacob: Is there anything else I can help you with?

you: shoot – it looks like the phone number is only available until 9pm.
you: I’d love to get some help – but this process is so slow.
you: I ask a question, then wait 30-60 seconds for you to reply
Jacob: I understand your concern.
Jacob: However I can help you with only online order service.

you: what does that mean? That I can order through this chat window – or that I need to actually order through the web site and you’re here just to answer questions about the web site?
Jacob: Yes, you can order online.

you: wow – this conversation is actually devolved into pure comedy
you: ok -what can you tell me about the HD DVR?
Jacob: Let me provide some information on that.
you: also – I used the link you gave me, filled in my address and it took me to a screen to “check the services you are interested in.”

you: so I checked phone, FIOS Internet, and FIOS TV.
you: then I click “continue” and it does nothing
Jacob: I understand your concern. At this time since the HD set top box is unavailable, I can offer you a Sd set top box along with a 4 month credit for this device.
Jacob: Also, Verizon will contact you immediately after the HD equipment is back in stock, and we will arrange to deliver the equipment to your home free of charge.
Jacob: You just need to select your service.

you: wait a minute – you want me to sign up for FIOS, the latest in digital television and you don’t have anything but a standard definition box?
Jacob: At this time since the HD set top box is unavailable, I can offer you a Sd set top box along with a 4 month credit for this device

you: as I said, I selected the three services I was interested in and clicked on continue. It did nothing.
you: Hal? Is that you?
you: does that mean that I can’t watch HD with FIOS?
Jacob: Verizon will contact you immediately after the HD equipment is back in stock, and we will arrange to deliver the equipment to your home free of charge.

you: and in the mean time, I’ll be paying for HD service?
Jacob: No, now you will pay for SD set top box.

you: what about the SERVICE
you: I assume there is a fee for HD service?
you: and how long before the HD boxes are available. It seems pretty silly to have digital TV without HD.
Jacob: Right now I have no information about the exact date.

you: what about the HD monthly service charges?
you: do I pay for those in the mean time?
you: Is there a separate fee for HD service or is it all inclusive with SD?
Jacob: You wilkl need Hd set top box for HD service, which will cost you $ 9.99 per month

you: so the $9.99 for the set top box includes the HD channels? There’s not a separate service fee for the channels themselves?
Jacob: Yes that is correct.

you: thanks for the direct answer.
Jacob: Is there anything else I can help you with?

you: Well, the website still isn’t working for me. I click on continue and it just doesn’t do anything.
Jacob: Ok. Let me send you a fresh link for that.

you: I wasn’t aware that links had degrees of freshness.
you: thanks for your help. I’m calling it a night.
Jacob: Please click here.

you: I’ll call in the morning
Jacob: Please proceed with the link .

you: no thanks. I’m done fighting with it. I’ll just call a sales rep in the morning so I can ask questions and get quick answers.
you: but if you’re really out of HD set top boxes, I’m not interested at all.
Jacob: Alright ,Is there anything else I can help you with?

you: nope.
you: thanks for your help. goodnight
Jacob: Good night.

Friend at work has a hacked iPhone. Sweet.